Koheles, A Fitting Megilla for Sukkos This Year

I have a confession to make.  I’ve always had a problem understanding the relationship between Sukkos and Koheles.  I think it may have started with the Artscroll’s interpretation.  Artscroll says (in the blue chumash) that the reason for reading Koheles on Sukkos is since Sukkos is so filled with joy and celebration, we need to have a reminder to “slow us down”.  To not let the happiness get out of control, and to ground our simcha to keep ourselves balanced.  This never sat well with me because I do not think this was the purpose of Shlomo’s megillah, and I do not think he wants us to read it to take a downer and “chill out”.  We need to enjoy and appreciate Sukkos, not put a pin in it.

On Shabbos Chol Hamoed, Rabbi Avroham Leventhal quoted a very nice idea from Rav Kook, explaining quite the opposite in fact.  He said Rav Kook explains that when we daven hard and do Tshuva on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur we lose a small bit of ourselves.  We sacrifice a little piece of ourselves that falls off in the davening and building honest repentance.  Sukkos is the time to get that piece back.  Find our simcha and pull in all the mitzvos and reinvigorate ourselves within the simcha of Sukkot.  

This in turn places Koheles not as a sad piece, but rather as a piece that helps identify different seasons and different times of our life that we are meant to recognize.  There is a time for repentance, and a time for joy.  There is a time for prayer, and a time for simcha.  Each, having their given period and place.

This year however, I had this frustrating itch about Koheles.  And it came directly from conversations we have all been having about how to view and honor Simchas Torah this year.  Coming off one year since the horrific events of October 7, and the very very long year which has been riddled with tragedy, prayers for hostages, prayers for soldiers, anxiety of soldiers, anxiety of war, fear of missiles and air raid sirens, and just general hardships spread throughout the entire Jewish nation has left me feeling that once again the words of Koheles isn’t clicking with the feeling of Sukkos.  Or rather, what should the feeling of Sukkos be for us? 

While in shul on Shabbos I started looking through the Mizrachi magazine and found two articles that helped me form a new concept of understanding about what Koheles can actually represent for us, in an eternal sense.

The first was from Rav Hershel Shechter who discussed “The Definition of Simcha” based on ideas from Rav Soloveitchik.  In it he explained the importance of the difference between Yom Tov and Shabbos, and how Yom Tov is a visit to HaShem and His temple.  Shabbos on the other hand, is us welcoming HaShem into our home.  He finished off by saying that when a person sits Shiva, Shabbos is part of the Shiva.  We have different customs for Shiva, but Shiva works around it.  While for Yom Tov, there must be simcha, and Shiva stops for Yom Tov.  Seeing these ideas together illustrates nicely this concept yet again of periods in our lives as Jews; seasonal concepts that come and go throughout our lives that we are to direct our Jewish passions and understand how they change our emotional reactions.  However, within this article from Rav Shechter, I felt something different about this idea of seasons.  They mix together.  Sometimes we celebrate yom tov, and then there is Shabbos.  Or we are sitting Shiva, and then there is Shabbos, and then a Yom Tov.  These periods - they mix together and are in fact not distinct or separate periods of time, but very much coexist within each other, overlapping their distinct customs onto one another.

The second article was from Rav Rimon and it really hit this point home for me.  (I asked Rav Rimon about it at a party I saw him at tonight, and he agreed with my interpretation of it ,thus inspiring me to actually write this down).  His article was discussing his strategy for how to “celebrate” (for lack of a better word) Simchas Torah this year.  He laid out very specific plans for what his shul will be doing this year.  Each Hakafa is assigned a theme.  The first hakafa will be for the soldiers and security forces, and it will be a “regular” one, with standard happy songs, followed by a prayer for the soldiers.  The next will be a slow one, followed by a tefilla for the hostages.  The third hakafa, songs of prayer for healing, the fourth - a special hakafa specifically for families of soldiers.  Hakafa five, unity of the jewish people.  Six, in memory of those who have fallen.  And finally, Hakafa Seven, for the victory of Am Yisrael and bringing Mashiach.  

All these hakafos together are a mix and a blend of simcha, prayer, hope, celebration and remembrance.  There isn't one single concept that represents the whole day, but rather it's all a mixture of all the emotions that we are living in today.  We are winning the war, but we’ve had terrible losses.  We are running towards victory, but its not over yet.  We are celebrating our battles, but worried about what's to come.  This to me, is the true meaning of Koheles.  Life is not about singular events that pop up, life is a mixture of seasons, periods, emotions that mix together and form a special blend of what we call “being Jewish”.  We attend funerals, and make weddings.  We celebrate bar mitzvahs, and daven for hostages.  We sing songs, dance with the Torah, and daven for the safety and wellbeing of our brothers and sisters. 

 “עֵ֤ת לַֽהֲרוֹג֙ וְעֵ֣ת לִרְפּ֔וֹא עֵ֥ת לִפְר֖וֹץ וְעֵ֥ת לִבְנֽוֹת” “There is a time to kill, and time to heal, a time to break and a time to build.”  All these years I thought these “times” have to be unique and singular, this year I understood, these times can be mixed together.  We can dance, and we can sing, and we can cry and we can pray.  And we can do all of these things at the same time, and we can do these things together as a Kahal - as a congregation.  My friend Yaakov Goldman, quoted Rabbi Sacks that Koheles is formed from the word Kahal.  We experience Judaism together as a congregation, and together we mix together our emotions, and mitzvos and prayer and dancing, and that is how we stand strong, and stand united tying together all the many strings and threads that make up our unique and singular people.

Ten Days in Rio: days 6-7

Lets start with Day 6: Shabbos.  After spending most of Friday working and buying the kid's presents (which is apparently a required activity for those who travel), about an hour and half before shabbos I hopped in a cab and headed over to Lubavitch Barra.  The cab driver who had waze, called someone and asked for directions anyway.  I'm not sure why.  The chabad from the outside is a wall with 2 metal doors.

Once I was inside the Portuguese security guard (and I discovered later, the everything man) showed me the shul and my sleeping arrangements.  If you want to know how to say "where do i sleep?" in Portugese, don't ask me.  But if you want to know how to mime sleeping, apparently he understand what I needed.  He took me up to the room.  A small one window room, with shutters permanantly closed, a single bunk bed and shared space with miscellaneous Lubavitcher clutter - apparently its also a storage room.  The one issue I had with the free arrangements was that the toilet was missing a toilet seat.  Apparently the phrase: "Gentleman, lift the seat" was misunderstood.  (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd_hZ-u7GVQ).  But still, I'm not one to complain.  So I placed my stuff down and headed back down to the shul to wait for Mincha.  The Lubavitch Barra headquarters is a sugya in bava kamma.  Its a large courtyard seperated into smaller courtyards and structures.  The entrance has two doors (extra security) and then opens to a small patio.  The shul is right in front, and then behind the shul is a kitchen, more bathrooms, and the Rav's familys' living quarters.  There is also a small soccer court and a child's playground.  Its a cute little setup, if you're into feeling like you're living in the Alamo.  The Rav, who speaks Hebrew and Portuguese, is very kind and asked if I wanted coffee and cake.  I said no thank you, and sat down and blogged away.  About five minutes later he brought me four pieces of cake and some "Brazilian coffee" which I was to drink and enjoy.  (Apparently my no thank you was not accepted as truth).  In truth, the coffee wasn't bad.  The fact that my bathroom had no toilet seat was bad.
All in all Shabbos was nice and quiet.  Like every shul this shul had its cast of characters, albeit in Portuguese.  The old men who walk around the shul saying good shabbos to everyone.  The ones who come Friday excited and raving about Shabbos, but are nowhere to be found on Shabbos morning. The guy who thinks he's Jewish, but he's not.  I commented to the Rav that its like all small communities around the world.  "Yea" he said, "its all the same nation."  That was true.  A kiddush followed the Friday night davening, so we didn't finally eat until about 10pm.  There I spoke Hebrew to the Rav and Rebbetzin, they spoke Portugese to each other and the 2 kids at the table and we discovered the grandmother knew English, so she and I spoke English.  It was wonderful to be able to eat real food again, and the kugels and chicken and salads were very welcome.  We ended at 1145pm, and though my AC kept waking me up during the night, the starting time 10am shachris allowed me to make up on sleep.  I meandered down around 9, and learned.  The Rav informed me that 10 is "suggested" and in fact a minyan had not arrived until close to 1045am.  I was asked to say maftir, and then was told to do Mussaf as well.  This was the first time I lained a haftorah with my name in it, and the first time I davened for a minyan where the only shared language between us was the words we were davening during mussaf!  After davening everyone ate together in the shul, which was quite lovely.  A few people spoke English and made conversation.  Following lunch we davened Mincha and then I hit my high bed sack for several hours.  Once again, Maariv was suggested 805, and we finally scrambled a minyan together at about 9pm.  Before high-tailing it out of there, I asked the Rav if he could suggest a restaurant in Copacabana to eat the next day.  He said (in hebrew of course): "Yes, Shelanu!"  "Oh very nice" I said, "so what's the name of it?"  He said: "Shelanu!"  I said: "Its yours?  or Chabad's or...?"  He said: "No, the name of it is Shelanu!".  Oh!  we laughed.  That's a silly name.  Sunday was to be a lot more fun.

Sunday morning I woke up and went to work.  I wanted to finish early so I could go out and see the city.  Eventually I planned out the day, and the front desk told me if i get a cab to Copacabana I can catch Anthony at IndianaJungle Tours in a jeep ride around the city.  Fun!  I took a cab, and as I walked up to the hotel, Anthony pulled up.  It was an open back jeep, with Kate and Hillary from Florida and California respectively.  I buckled up which consisted of pulling down the roller coaster seatbelt bar.  We drove around the city.
First stop was a stunning view of Sugar Loaf mountain and whale mountain.  Apparently when you cook sugar cane, it goes in a large iron dome.  The sugar cooks, and you turn the dome over, and take it off.  You end up with a sugar loaf that looks a lot like the mountain.  Kate and Hillary bought coconuts and drank their coconut juice, and we were on our way.  We drove around downtown.  He explained that half the city used to be covered in water, but years of cutting down mountains and filling the water with the rocks and dirt, stretched out the cities edges.  Our next stop was the Brazilian Historical museum. However, for some reason it wasn't open until 2pm, and we were there 2 hours early.  Who would have thought they opened so early?

 So we moved on, and came back to the museum later.  Out next stop was the famous Rio steps.  An artist decided to tile a series of steps in old Rio with mosaics.  Its become a big tourist trap.  People from around the world have sent their own mosaics and the artist glued them to the wall as well.  Its cute.  Not much more to say about it than that.  Back in the jeep we drove around downtown.  There is modern architecture mixed with some very impressive and old architecture.

 The Opera house was stunning with various touches from both Peter II and more modern leaders.  We also saw the ancient aqueduct which used to be the edge of the city, filled with water underneath and now sits somewhere in the middle of downtown.  We drove up and around cobble stoned streets with various views.  Eventually when we made our way back to the museum, where Anthony offered us the cliff notes version of the museum.  Indeed, we did it in about a half hour, but was thoroughly fascinating.  The museum is housed in a former Portuguese fort, and contains artifacts and information dating back from before the Portuguese arrived to present day.  We went through the history, and discussed Pedro I and his son Pedro II.  The dynasty was short-lived though.  Pedro II's daughter, Isabelle, freed the slaves in 1889.  In 1890, wealthy plantation owners feared the kingdom would move to the French with Isabelle's husband being french, and Pedro II getting old.  So they "offered" the family to move back to Portugal so they can initiate a free and new democratic state.  And there you have it.  End of museum tour.  Anthony dropped off the girls somewhere.  He also asked me to pay him there in the museum, rather than out on the street and he asked me where I want to go. I said: "To the forest!"  So we drove up and up into and onto one of the local peaks, and made a few stops to see the rain forest.  This was really spectacular.  If I have one regret from my time here, its not spending more time in these forests.  I will be trying to go on a hike tomorrow, but it was raining tonight, so they may not let me.  We'll see tomorrow morning.

Anthony told me about the local raccoons, (we saw one), how the monkeys eat pineapple plants and throw them on the floor, he showed me resin from the trees, and how you can use it to protect your skin, or help strengthen your voice.  We took about a minute and listened to the forest.  It was spectacular.  Then we headed back down the mountain, picked up a family who's mother insisted they go one way... the wrong way.  He drove them back to their car.  Then he dropped me off at a large mall who was celebrating Oktoberfest.  Thousands of people were lined up at various booths drinking as much beer as they could.  I was ridiculed by a family because i didn't speak Portuguese, and decided I was starving so I got a cab and headed back into town to eat at Shelanu.  I arrived at 650pm, and they told me they don't open till 7, but I could wait.  They finally took my order at 710.  I was starving and over ordered.  The pitas were gross, the "fried chicken fingers" were not fried at all. But the burger was fantastic!  I would go back just to get another burger like that.  On my way out I asked the owner if I should head back, or walk around Copacabana a little.  He suggested I head over to the beach, so I took his advice.  That was wonderful.  The weather was stunning, but there was also action all over the beach.  Each little eating spot had someone playing live music.  I stood for about a half hour watching someone play popular English and american music and he was spectacular.  The ambiance was awesome.  Then I walked over to a local tourist trap and picked up some shirts for the kids.  I hoped in a cab and went back to the New York shopping mall to catch a late flick, but it was sold out, so I went home and caught a flick on the tube.  All in all, it was an amazing day.
Today was much less exciting.  I finished up my work today, with a one hour break to the mall for some final gifts and shopping.  I do hope tomorrow will be exciting.  Flight home is set for 8pm.

Ten Days in Rio: days 2-5

My apologies for not keeping up the daily journal. While I've had much to say various reasons kept me for recording these thoughts. As I sit in the Lubavitch Barra courtyard, enjoying the waning afternoon, I figured I'd take a few minutes and update the readers with how my week has been.
First, about Rio itself.
You know those futuristic cities that we've read about that describe enormously large cities, with tens of millions of people crawling in and out of every space possible, where overcrowding is rampant, all classes of society seem to live together on top of one another, and the highway infrastructure is enormous and incredible? That's Rio. The city is massive and that's an understatement. Massive Beijing like apartment buildings riddle the city. Hills and mountains are often covered in colorful square houses built one on top of another, tightly packed in, with little breathing room. Across the street from said houses could be a modern enormous mall. One block down, graffiti infested walls littered under a hornets nest of electricity wires, connected to leaning electric poles. Tall buildings, small ones, old ones, new ones. It's like every city I've been to, but on a much much larger scale. The true character of the city though lies not in its artificial architecture, but in its natural one. Jagged, spiking mountains surround and break through the city all over it. If you drive from borough to borough you will likely pass through tunnels, bridges or out of the way routes. The beautiful mountains are often covered in clouds, but not all at the same time. Some there, some here. The weather is a stunning 70-80 degrees everyday. To go from one place to another is a challenge. As I mentioned in a previous post driving is a lesson in merging. There is no too close or too fast, there is simply going.  Plan for traffic jams, no matter your distance.  It's hard to describe the drive from where I'm staying to closer to "town". I took a drive there on Tuesday. Much of the drive was spent, fighting traffic in a four lane highway built on the side of a cliff, covered in tropical trees and plants. When you walk along the beach, there's a refreshment stand about every 300 meters that sells coconuts. And people are sitting there with a straw sipping out of a raw coconut.  It was during this outing that I had my first glance of the large statue hanging from the top of the mountain. A symbol of the city. It's a pretty big statue. My coworker and I had taken a trip into town (40 min cab ride, over 60 Real in cost) since our network was down and we had no work to do. We hoped to catch some lunch at the Jewish school, but the network came back up and alas, we had work to do.
And that's basically all its been. On Tuesday we ventured out and I spent the rest of the day in my room. On Wednesday, I decided to do my work in the lobby since I was sick of sitting in my room all day. Wednesday afternoon I had finished what I needed to do so I went into the office, picked up some stuff Omer left for me and then went to the New York Shopping Center mall where I found a Starbucks, another huge shopping mall and a movie theater. I wasn't in the mood for a movie so I hopped in a cab and went back to the hotel.

Thursday I worked mostly in my room and by 7pm I had had enough so I went to the mall next door to my hotel, saw a movie (made sure it was subtitled and not dubbed) and came back.

When I go out, especially shopping at the mall (feels like it's all I do) I turn on my Google translate app, which had saved the following phrase in Portuguese : "im sorry, I do not speak Portuguese." everyone is nice about it. They smile. One person tried a few words in English. Others speak to me, but use pointing and body language to make their point. It's fascinating to converse with people when neither of you are speaking the same language. Google translate is an a so amazing piece of technology.

Sunday is gonna be partly day off for me. I want to see the city a little. I'll do some work in the morning but then around two I hope to go take a tour. I have a choice of cable car rides up to the famous Rio peaks, sugar mountain and the Corcovado (that the one with the Big Cheeses). Or I can take a jeep ride through the forest and then the botanical gardens. Sunday night I hope to go eat at the kosher restaurant there also, and maybe walk around copacabana a little (the neighborhood not the nighclub).
I am  now sitting at chabad of Barra DE tujica, a quaint little courtyarded building with a shul and a house and a guest room. The guestroom leaves a lot to be desired, and I get the top bunk, I have to give the bottom one to about seven mattresses piled up there.  I do hope i am comfortable there, it's a tiny room. But Baruch HaShem for free and beautiful chessed.
Have a great shabbos everyone. Please excuse my typos, I typed all this on my phone and I'm uploading without proof reading.

Ten Days in Rio: Day 1

My past experiences with Lufthansa were not positive.  They were the flight I took when I first moved to Israel in September 2003.  The plane was old and I had a middle seat.  Wasn't very pleasant.  Well, this flight has changed all that.  I had a feeling that the flight would be fine. And while the first flight was lacking in entertainment, the next flight made up for it all.  A brand new 747-8 received last February the plane still had that brand new smell.  It was nice, clean and a pleasure to board.  But forget all of that, I want to talk about feeling human again.  As I mentioned earlier, flying more than 5 hours allows me the honor to sit in a "Premium Economy" seat.  And let me tell you, having some room to breath, really changes life from hell to completely enjoyable.  The seat itself was bigger.  The armrest was double, the legs came up from the bottom, and the seat reclined back further.  A special surprise was the kosher meal.  I expected standard plane food but apparently getting premium seating gets premium kosher.  The taste was the same, but it was all real dishes, with extra rolls and larger servings.  The entertainment hardware was top notch with easy to use screens and good quality programming.  (Ahh Ant Man, I've been wanted to watch you!). I managed to sleep 6 hours, which was pretty good and I got in 2 movies.  Then we landed.
Brazilians remind me a lot of spanish people.  The airport and the driving and the people.  There's a shared culture reminds me of my days in Miami and Queens.  The roads are havoc.  If the cars are moving at all, they seem to be always merging into each other.  Its pretty scary.  I prefer not to watch it.
The city is fascinating. There's sections that are run down and covered in graffiti.  Then there are beautiful malls and shopping complexes.  My friend described it similar to Tel Aviv, where some areas are poorer than others.  I understand that, but it also seems more scattered here.  The geology of the city adds very much to it's culture and feel.  It seems to be completely surrounded by small jagged mountains that are covered in trees.  Often many of them are covered in clouds, while the ones next to them are not.  Its very science fictiony, and I would love to get a chance to hike around some of them.  It bizarre to be driving through these mountains and hills, and then go to large shopping malls.  By the way, these malls, one of which is directly next to my hotel, is just like an American mall.  Large, overpriced, tons of clothing stores and miscellaneous cell phone and toy stores scattered throughout.
On another note, few people here speak English, which is interesting because most signs are translated into English.  Gets complicated when people ask you a question and you just look at them like you fell from the moon.  English?  Then they look at you like you just fell from the moon.  Time to learn some Portuguese.
I spent most of today in my hotel room trying to run tests.  I have here about 7 iphones, 1 laptop and an android phone.  Everything was going fine until the network shutdown.  So currently Em on shutdown mode, with nothing to do.  That's ok, because im jet lagged exhausted so maybe I'll go for a swim or just enjoy some quiet.

Today was an experience.  I look forward to see what tomorrow brings.

Ten Days in Rio: Day 0

This blog which was originally designed to be an update blog from my son Shlomo, has laid stagnant for the last several months (or year?) as Thank Gd everything has been going well with Shlomo.  In an effort to make this blog more interesting, I've decided to start blogging about my current experiences, and that is a business trip to Rio De Janeiro.  The intention is to journal the process and the culture and how it effects me, a very big fish out of water in Brazil, I expect.  So let's get started!

The reason for the business trip, which is expected to take about ten days, is to test a new feature for the cell phone company located there.  The company, named Vivo, is owned by Telefonica, and they are using our product from the Israel office to team up with Apple for a new feature.  The feature is dependent on the provider's network service in Brazil, so testers and developers have been going for several weeks in order to certify the product is working.  Now its my turn.

Today was the first day of travel.  It started off with a little excitement when I attempted to do a self checkin from home.  The website insisted I needed a VISA.  Uh Oh.  I don't have a VISA.  The guys in my office told me I didn't one.  Lo and behold I discovered that it doesn't always pay to be American.  "Brazil maintains a fully reciprocal visa policy" says wikipedia, which means America (BOO!) who doesn't allow people in to their country without a visa, doesn't get free passage in Brazil.  However, Israeli which does have an open policy with Brazil (YAY!) does allow israelis to visit without a visa (for up to 90 days).  My ticket was booked with my US passport number.  So i tried several times, i called the Lufthansa office, no luck.  I figured Ill wait till i get to the airport and find out what will happen.  On the way to the airport my friend pointed out to me that Lufthansa is located downstairs, so I asked my cab driver to please drop me off at arrivals.  He was very confused.  "I've never gone that way before."  OK, i said, can you now?  "If you really want to I can..." and then he mumbled: "it will cost you more money."  "Why?" I asked.  He then started to explain how its a balagan, and how he needs to find parking and get out quickly.  Apparently, the 15 minute free rule is too difficult for him.  Fine, i said, drop me off on top and ill go down myself.  He pointed out how that was better for me, cause I can take the "electric stairs".  Thanks.  So i get dropped off, and head through towards ticketing.  One win for today!  Premium passengers (that's me!) get the same security line as First Class and Business.  But that's as far as it gets for us peasent premium passengers.  Even at the ticketing desk, we don't get.
Luckily for me the ticketing agent fixed the passport problem and allowed me to go on my way.  The flight from Tel Aviv was so shocking, I didn't know what to do with myself.  There were no TVs!!  None!  none in the seats, none in the ceiling!  I had to check my calender to make sure i didn't go back in time to 1997!  So, i pulled out my book and did the best i could.  I moved myself to the back so I could have an aisle seat, but the reviews were right, a lot of people line up for the bathroom there.  Eh, no biggy.
I am now at Frankfurt waiting to board a 11 hour and 45 minute flight across the world.  Certainly the farthest I've ever traveled, and the first time for me in the Southern Hemisphere.  Work provided me with premium seating, as company policy allows us to get premium (economy plus) for flights over 5 hours.  I'm fine with this.  Many people have asked me why we can't have business, which is a valid question, but I'm not a begging chooser.  Ill take what I can get.
I'm tired now, time to go stand in another line.

Tomorrow morning... RIO!

Good news is great news

Here is a quick catch up since my last post:
- Norman had a bris.  His name is now Shlomo Zev.
- He is gaining weight nicely, and has had his January RSV shot.
- He is a good boy.

And now for today's great news:
 We had an echo appointment today.  Today is five and a half weeks since the surgery.  No EKG was needed, just weigh him with the nurse and then Dr Amichai (last names don't matter here) did the echo.  Riki the nurse was blown away by Shlomo's weight progress.  In this corner, weighing in at 4.638 kilo (10.225 pounds) Shlomo has exceeded expectations for weight gain.  The nurse was so excited, she started telling everyone she saw in the hallway ("This baby just gained 1.08 kilo in 20 days!!").  I thought she was going to break into song!
Next was the echo.  Dr Amichai and a training student discussed fancy heart echo terms for about ten minutes, while I tried to make Shlomo comfortable.  The echo ended after some fussiness, and Dr Amichai was happy to report that they were very pleased with the echo.  All looks great.  They checked out the weak valve (still ok) and the conduit (working great) and Baruch HaShem he is doing great.  Next appointment... 3 months.

Keep an eye on the blog, as I would like to update it every once in awhile.

Keep the great news coming!

The Bris and Being Grateful

The inspiration for Norman's name

My last blog was a week ago.  Its time for an update, and oh what a week its been.  Lets start with catching up.
Since we were released from the hospital last week, Fraidy and I have desperately been trying to get back into normal life and routine, though it's been difficult.  The baby wasn't nursing nicely, so we've been giving him mother's milk bottles, which means double time on Norman.  We have to feed him bottles and Fraidy has to pump milk.  This gets very time consuming.  Not to mention that neither of us sleep at night.  Fraidy is very considerate and tries her best to let me sleep as long as she can, but into the third hour of the night, she has to throw in the towel and I tag team her to change the diaper/ get the bottle/feed the baby or sanitize the bottles.

(We have to sanitize EVERYTHING in order to try and prevent him from getting a cold.  Its neurotic and crazy, but the hospital told us it's important, so we do it.)  So yeah, not much sleep.  By the time Wednesday rolled around, we realized making Shabbos will be hard, and so we invited ourselves and my brother and sister in law opened up their (very) warm home for shabbos.  (They need to figure out how to control their new heating system).  We appreciated it so much, and it was a huge help for us to survive the week.  My parents have also been wonderful driving the kids back and forth to school, taking Eliyahu to his hydrotherapy and helping us with shopping.  Family, family, family.  Everyone has been unbelievable.
Sunday was the next milestone.

Today we get to find out when we get to do the Bris.

We took Norman back to Schneiders (after a very stressful morning, trying to get everyone out by 745 so we could make it for the 9am appointment... we were late by 20 min.  They didn't care).  (I have discovered, waking up before 7am is difficult on 3.5 hours of sleep).  So we came to schneiders.

First the EKG with the same short girl and the soviet russian wierd EKG instruments.  Then back to the waiting room.  Then called in to meet with a different doctor.  (We now know we can ask to speak with a specific doctor, we didn't know this before, and we thought we would automatically meet with Dr Amichai, who we like.  We met with Dr Zucker who was nice.)  She asked how things were going, and we said great.  Eating nicely, baby is acting normal.  She dropped him down to one intake of Fucid per day, and no more icky tasting Adalctone.  (Which is nice, because I messed up giving it on Shabbos... never mind that though).  Then the echo.  Again, we thought Dr Amichai would do it, but it was a russian doctor, who felt talking to us would be too much effort, and so it was a long quiet echo, interrupted only by sad whimpers from the baby who didn't like to be without a shirt and cold jelly.  She asked us if we knew about "the hole".  We said we did, but weren't sure what she was talking about.  Back to Dr Zucker, who looked at the echos from before, then the echos from last week and finally the echos from that day.  She showed us the new pipe that was installed (gotta admit, I still have no idea what she was showing me) and I was amazed to learn that the conduit has a functioning valve.  How could a piece of artery, cut from a cow, be installed in his heart, and the valve still opens and closes?  Its really unbelievable.  We asked about a bris, she said she thinks we could do a bris when we get home.

Bris - Tuesday.

We also got a visit from the nurse.  Nice, funny nurse.  Her name was Riki.  She removed the last three stitches, took blood pressure and weighed the baby.  Up 250 grams since release last week!  Yay!  On one of the stitch holes, the skin has swelled up into a bump.  She was concerned it might be infected, so she plucked, prodded, squeezed and examined, and decided she wasn't sure what it was, but didn't think it was infected.  She asked Dr Zucker to have a look.  Dr Zuker plucked, prodded, squeezed and examined and decided its probably not infected, but she didn't know what it was.  She called Dr Gabriel.  Now we wait.  Finished up with Dr Zucker, and out to the waiting room.  5 minutes later, Dr Gabby himself walks in and takes a look at the baby.  He plucked, prodded, squeezed and examined and decided he didn't know what it was, was unlikely to be an infection, but prescribed a full antibiotic!!!  So now, we are to go home and start taking an antibiotic.  And now Bris is postponed until a week after antibiotic.  Bris - next Tuesday.  The smartest thing they did was tell us to speak to our pediatrician when we get home.  I made an appointment for that afternoon, and then again for the following morning.
We go home.  We make some phone calls.  People tell us no bris for a week after antibiotics finish.

Bris - 2 weeks from today.

At 415pm I arrive at Dr Rosen's office.  Its packed to the gills.  I go to confirm my appointment, only to discover my appointment didn't go through.  But she assured me it was ok, and I sat back, watching the kids dropping off the walls.  I get called in soon... I'm starting to feel like I see Dr Rosen more than I see my own kids.  Dr Rosen takes a look.  He plucks, prods, squeezes and examines, and declares.... "there is no way this is infected."  He doesn't know what it is, but there is no sign of infection.  Do not take the antibiotic, he says.  No reason to give it.  Come back tomorrow morning at 8 am, and we decide what to do next.  Bris - ????
At 8 am this morning, I arrive back at Dr Rosen.  The bump is smaller, more pinkish, no puss is coming out and Dr Rosen does it all.  That's right.. he plucks, prods, squeezes and examines.  He says it is not infected.  Put some bactraban on it to stay safe, but there is no systematic infection.  (No fever, no signs of infection).  Bris - Tomorrow!  I go to daven, and then I call the mohel.  "When was he considered 'healthy'?"  He asks me.  I don't know I tell, him when we left the hospital.  Why else would we have been able to be sent home.  He says that the halacha mandates "one week on a full bill of health."  He wants to know, according to the cardiologist was he considered healthy last week, or yesterday.  I go home frustrated.

Bris - ????

As I'm trying to find a way to call the cardiologist, Ricki the nice nurse calls to check in.  I tell her the pediatrician doesn't want to give antibiotics, and the "wound" looks much better today.  She is relieved to hear it, and is happy we won't give him the antibiotics.  (So why on earth did the surgeon recommend giving it, and why did they all listen to him???)  I asked her to ask the doctor when was he considered healthy, because we need to know when to do the bris.  She said hold on, and came back and said yesterday.  Since his stitches were removed and medicine was dropped yesterday, that's when they officially consider him "healthy".

Bris - next Monday.  7 days from the day he is healthy, plus one, just to make sure.  915am.

I tell the pediatrician, he is clearly upset.  He says the baby is healthy now!  Why wait.  Dunno, I tell him, that's what I'm trying to understand.
Now the mohel needs to be booked.  He is in a bris, I have to call back.  I try to take a quick nap, as I feel a killer migraine coming.  I lie down in bed, Fraidy has an accident in the kitchen - the fruit bin is now completely cracked.
Back to bed.
The baby wakes up.
Give him to Fraidy.
Back to bed.
In walks Eliyahu.  He isn't feeling well, and wants to stay home today.  Fine.
Lie down with Eliyahu.  I get ten minutes.
Fraidy wakes me up.  10:45.  Time to go to work.  Bright and early.  My head is hurting less, guess I better go in.

38 every morning

Drive to work, and call the mohel to confirm next Monday.  He can't do 915am.  Only 730am or 11am.  Traffic to Beit Shemesh is too terrible and he wont have time to get back in time.  Argh!
What about Tuesday?  He can't confirm 915am.  Either 8 or 1030.  Fine.  Monday 11am?  Done.





With great gratitude to HaShem, and full of excitement, honor and joy that we are reaching this day, please join us for the bris of our son, next Monday, January 12, 11am.  Most likely at Kehillas Shivtei Yeshurun, but stayed tuned for more details.

Note: Baby Norman was born the day before Thanksgiving.  When we discovered it would be a long time before we would have a name, Rabbi Haber recommended we give him an english name.  The first thing that came to my mind was an old man's name (he kinda looked like an old man, and he was in heart failure, so you know.. old man name).  Then I thought of how grateful we were at having this beautiful child, and all I wanted was to say thanks.  Norman Rockwell's Freedom From Want immediately came to mind.  Our son is beautiful.  We shall (temporarily) call him Norman.  Baruch HaShem.